On-the-spot creativity

Yeah.

I don't have it.

My good friends already know and understand this.

The concept of "the jam" is foreign and difficult to me.

I am all about the slow, careful, methodical creativity.

The one that gets refined over and over and over.

So when I was on the front singing team tonight (at the JPR, which isn't recorded), and was supposed to "antiphonalize" I had nothin'. I have a hard enough time recalling best friends names within 5 seconds upon them greeting me. 

No, seriously, if a friend comes up to me and says, "Hey, Kris" . . . it takes me a few seconds before the verbal name comes. . . so I almost always say "hey, man" in return. It's not 'cause I don't know their name . . . I just have memory-read issues. My eye-to-brain-to-mouth buffer is clogged or something. I also have trouble in normal conversations actually contributing because by the time I figure out something to say, someone else is talking.

So, antiphonalizing is basically four singers singing "random" but related phrases back and forth, and maybe creating a chorus that everyone sings . . . it's usually like biblical phrases and stuff that relate to what the prayer leader is praying about or the scripture passage we're focusing on.

So, yeah . . . Kris is silent during the antiphonalizing phase.

He basically shrugs his shoulders and becomes frustrated.

And apparently starts talking in the third person. {sigh}

Dad, if You want me to be able to do this . . . 

OK, but it just doesn't seem to be the way You made me.

I don't know. I'm not too terribly concerned with it

Ok, so that's not true. . . I'm incredibly self-conscious of it.

Just like when I sit in a group of people and never say anything.

Oh well. We'll see.

I love You.

So be it.