It's been awhile

Because I realize how long it's been since I've made an update . . . (for those of you that read this. :) ) . . . I have decided to do two posts at once. The previous post is one I wrote for a little thing called the Paradigm Exchange (www.theparadigmexchange.com), something a good friend of mine started, and has asked me to write for. My story hasn't been posted yet (as of the date of this blog), but I pretty much assume that there will not be that much overlap between the readership of said two sites.

As for me, lots has been happening . . . as some of you will already have known, I have left Abundant Harvest Community Church in Brownfield, TX. This is a good thing. A God thing. They actually sent me off with prayer and a gift card to Guitar Center (the prayer being the obviously more important and meaningful than the card, although it in itself, is very much appreciated {grin}). It was not an easy decision to make, but one in which I believe God was leading me. It's hard to leave behind a place and a people you love to serve. But God is leading all of us from that body into a place of deeper trust, I think . . . and who am I to argue?

So . . . yeah . . . now I am jobless and churchless (so to speak . . . it's not exactly accurate but we'll go with it). Who's having to trust on God?

{raising hand and waving} ooo, ooo, I am! I am!

And is He ever faithful? He is indeed. I lack nothing. My freelance business is not exactly "booming", but I always have enough to get by. I've done several small jobs lately, and several more are on my plate.

Speakin' o' which, if you have any friends/family/neighbors/acquaintances/enemies that need Web sites, videos, audio recording, print design, etc. done. . . have 'em shoot me an email. (kris@filament-productions.com)

Musically speaking, I'm extremely proud and thankful to announce that we've finally finished my 4-song EP. After 3-5 years of some of these songs being concepts/demos . . . we have them in finished, studio-recorded (well, home-studio), production-filled form. It (the EP) sounds pretty much fantastic, and I would love for you (yes, YOU) to hear it. Unfortunately, it does actually cost me to produce CD's, so if you would like a CD in a sleeve, they are $5. Let me know, and I can shoot one your way. {cheese} I'm also selling them digitally on our myspace page (www.myspace.com/xhristosphoreoband  - right underneath the music player) for $.99 per song or $3.96 for the whole EP. Also, just for kicks, you should check out our main site (which really only links to our myspace) - www.xhristosphoreo.com. It's not for the faint of bandwidth, but it looks freakin' cool. And if anyone (hint, hint) wants to have my band come play at their church (or anything else for that matter), we would love to. And by "we", I mean, "at least me, and possibly one other person, but probably not a full band." It's very hard to find musicians that will work for free. {sigh}

Please pardon the previous two (or six, depending on how you look at it) shameless plugs in this blog.

I've also enjoyed playing this summer with the Dallas Stevens Band (www.dallasstevensband.com and www.myspace.com/dallasstevensband). I play keys with them, and have a rockin' good time. We've played quite a bit the past several months and have a few more gigs this year. I will also soon be joining the ranks of another friend's band, called Faces for Radio (www.myspace.com/facesforradiomusic) Self-deprecating title aside, it should be fun.

Let's see . . . what else . . . no girls, unfortunately . . . I'm not sure it's time yet. Of course, I actually have to talk to a girl to see. . . but that's another story.

I have a lunch "interview" with a pastor this week in Lubbock about possibly filling their Worship Leader position. We'll see if that's something God wants to work out or not. I'm not sold on it either way. I'm still trying to figure out where God wants me.

Ummm . . . yeah, that pretty much sums up my life right now. 

Dad, You are good!!

You honor those that trust in You.

Thank You so much for allowing the EP to be done.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
And I know I know I know I know I know I want You.

Sorry for the random song quote. . . but it fit.

Please lead me in the way of Your will.

Let me not get caught up in my own.

Thank You for Your leadership.

Thank You for Your provision.

You are so good!

I love You, Dad.

So be it.

(in)Significant

In early August, this year, I was privileged to be able to make a trip to Quito, Ecuador with a group of people from my mom's church. They go down every year to help one of several churches that need construction done on their church buildings. You know, the typical church mission trip that makes people think they've really made a difference, when they only really show up for a week, barely get to know anyone (if at all . . . after all, there is the whole language barrier thing), do the tourist thing for a few days, live in comparative luxury to the people they are "helping", and then return home to their cushy lives in America.

At least, that was my impression of most church "mission trips". I'll admit, it's not a very polite or nice or flattering way of thinking about them, especially when most people who go on them really have the best of intentions. And they had gone, and I hadn't. But, now that I've experienced it, it's really kind of what goes on.

In any case, when it was offered that my way would be payed, I jumped at the opportunity, since those sort of trips are all but completely out of my meager salary's reach.

Side Note: I'm aware that I'm showing a bit of my two-faced nature here . . . obviously holding these trips in disdain for the most part, and yet jumping at the opportunity to go if my way is paid. But hey, it's true. Maybe not good, but true.

Now, at this point I could glowingly expound upon the typical "it changed my life" spiel . . . but I won't, 'cause it didn't.

Well, maybe a bit.

Everyone kept telling me that it would be an eye-opening experience, that it would change my view of the world, to really see poverty that close and all that. And, no doubt, I was constantly amazed at the level of it surrounding us as we traveled, and how the people didn't really seem to mind too terribly much that they were that poor. They actually seemed much happier than most Americans, strangely enough.

But it wasn't like this huge realization came over me in this profound way or a light bulb went off in my head, or any other analogy for enlightenment that you can think of. A couple of former missionaries that came with us made comments at the beginning of the trip asking me if it was "sinking in" yet and such things. It never really did. I just knew I was in another country, and simply accepted it. I didn't feel called to give up my life of luxury in the US and sell everything and move to a third-world country. If anything, I felt that I was supposed to actually enjoy the blessings God has given me here.

The only thing that nagged at me was something I started thinking about on the way home. And that was this: I had been visiting a city of 1.5 million people approximately 2800 miles away from where I lived.

That may not have sunk in with you like it did with me. Of course, my trains of thought can tend to jump the tracks now and again.

Here's how it kind of went:
I was in a city of 1.5 million people.
It's a long ways away from where I live.
It's a small country.
There's lots of other countries in the world.
With lots of cities.
With lots of people.

I am insignificant.

And there it is. I am insignificant. I realized that all the things that I think are important in my life . . . movies, eating out all the time, spending time with my friends, making enough money to do the aforementioned things, writing music, volunteering at my church . . . they mean pretty much nothing, in the grand scheme of things.

There is a whole world of people that live their lives from day to day, not knowing me, not caring about me, completely oblivious to my existence . . . only really thinking about the same basic things I am . . . what it's going to take to get through today and keep on living.

Kind of depressing, no?

But then I remembered the little gem of Psalm 139:13:

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

Suddenly, I am significant. For the God of creation, who sees the world as it is now and as it has been, with every person of every nation living throughout all of history . . . personally put me together inside my mom.

So . . . I am significant . . . and yet, insignificant. When I think of this, a profound wave of humility sweeps over me. God thinks me important enough to "knit me together" Himself, and yet he thinks everyone important enough to do the same for them.
Who am I, then, to treat anyone, anywhere as anything less than God's personal favorite? For they, like me, are (in)Significant.