Feelings of Inadequacy Unite!

So I got to play acoustic tonight from 4am-6am . . . it was a lot of fun, and I did pretty good (at least, I think so). 

Beforehand, though, I was definitely fighting feelings of inadequacy.

I was filling in for probably the best acoustic player I've seen in a long time (no offense to all my friends who play acoustic really well) . . . Cassie Campell. She's basically awesome at everything she does, which includes playing acoustic, playing bass in the best band on campus, playing drums, and leading worship.

Yeah.

Apparently I did pretty good, since they turned me up in the mix (which I rarely hear the guitar in any mix here) and the band said I did good . . . and people tend to not lie here . . . at least not that much . . . The electric player said he reminded me of the good porridge goldilocks found . . . "not too hot and not too cold" as in I had good rhythm and picking skills. . . I wasn't too "lead" oriented or too "rhythm only" oriented. That was encouraging.

So, yeah. I still feel inadequate.

Yeah.

Dad, thanks for humbling experiences :)

Help me not to be too hard on myself.

And be able to take compliments.

And be confident in what abilities You have given me.

Thank You once again to be able to play music to worship You with.

You rock.

No, seriously. You rock.

I love You.

So be it.

Tired

It's been rather strange lately . . . I'll get 8 hours of sleep, but I'm always so tired.

I just don't want to get up.

Blah.

Nothing else really interesting as of right now . . . other than yesterday's trip to Buffalo Wild Wings!!! wooo!!!

Ok, so that's interesting to me . . .

You have no idea how much I've missed my precious boneless wings smothered in Mango Habanero and/or Parmesan Garlic Sauce, and my delightful Potato Wedges all smothered in cheddar cheese, and everything dipped in Ranch Sauce.

Oh the joy. It was sincerely a blessing from God.

It was also interesting how weird it was to be back in crazy, busy, TV-oriented American society. It was seriously crazy how we all noticed that we don't really talk to each other, we just end up looking at all the TVs that are placed every 10 degrees around the room. Oh well.

Dad, please help me not be so tired.

Thank You for B-Dubs and

the wonderful food they make . . .

even if they do have too many TVs.

You rock.

So be it.

Runnin' Sound

I got to mix a band tonight (at the JPR, which isn't the one that streams on the internet). It's a lot harder than it looks.

No 1 hour sound check like I'm used to.

It's "get 'em on stage and turn 'em up" . . . "and hope they sound good" . . . "try and fix it if they don't" . . .

Yeah. fun times. I get to do it again tomorrow. For those that know such things (J-mac), it was a Yamaha M3000A. For those that don't . . . it's a big board. It's also old. But it still sounds pretty good. I'm actually still just "in training", but the guy let me mix a good portion of a 2-hour set. It was cool.

So yeah, that was fun. I only have yet to play keys sometime. Hopefully I'll get to.

All right . . . brain not functioning . . . need sleep and food . . .

Dad, thank You for yet again

another opportunity to serve

and use the talents You've given and grown in me.

Help me to use them well.

I love You.

So be it.

3 hours with Stuart Greeves

Only a few of you will recognize his name, but this man blows my mind every time he talks.

He's the Director of the Nightwatch here (12am-6am), and he's got a knowledge of scripture that constantly amazes me.

We typically have "Connection Time" for an hour every Sunday night . . . we had it for three hours tonight. 

Whew.

I'm beat.

As usual, he blew my mind. On several issues. With scriptural backdrop.

1) The importance of a correct end-time view as taught by Jesus and the apostles.

2) How very ridiculous and ungodly self-expression is (specifically related to art and music)

3) As far as weird spiritual manifestations (slayings in the spirit, etc)

a) They are real

b) Everyone reacts differently to the Spirit - it is controllable (the spirit of the prophet is subject to the prophet)

c) Basically it's a bodily response to the Spirit - much like electricity

4) Evil is essentially pride - it is saying my idea of things is better than God's

a) sub note - immorality is the desire to worship the creature rather than the creator

whew.

Dad, help me to sleep. This stuff is boggling my mind.

Help me to be faithful with the revelation that You have been giving me.

Lead me, Lord, and I will follow.

Thank You so much for everything You have lead me through already.

I love You.

So be it.

Gold Dust

Now I know this will be a weird one for most of you . . .

Gold dust . . .

appearing out of nowhere . . .

on people . . .

It happened to me . . .

I'm not joking.

It's not some sort of trick farce thing. People start praying really hard, and sometimes things happen. Apparently this happens all over the place. No one really knows why, and there's no scripture to support it, but, there's nothing that says God doesn't do stuff like this. Apparently gemstones that no one can identify have been appearing, too, as well as manna. Basically dropping into people's hands and/or bibles.

OK, pause for a moment . . . they were just praying for it again, and the prayed for me, didn't touch my hands, and I had them again. They kind of fade away after a minute.

It's weird, I'm not gonna lie. Cool, but weird.

Incidentally, I got to play acoustic again tonight (4-6am). It was a fun set. I sang yesterday from 2-4pm.

Dad, You do some really strange things.

I suppose they aren't strange to You,

but they are to me.

Help me to see You for who You are,

and not get caught up in fake things,

but also help me to not reject them if they are of You.

I love You.

So be it.

Ok . . . so . . . yeah

It's been getting incredibly difficult to get these written the last several days, since things keep happening.

By things I mean weird things. 

Two nights ago, we were praying for one of the guys before bed, and another one of them fell down and started laughing straight for about 1 1/2 hours, and couldn't get up, and we couldn't even pick him up.

Then last night, another roommate had a vision, and then a manifestation of a spiritual stronghold/demon of fear, that another roommate basically exorcised with the other two of us praying around him. This also ended with the roommate that manifested it basically frozen (this time in peace as opposed to joy) on his bed.

So these things have kept me busy at night.

Not that they are bad.

Just weird, in my church-ianity perspective.

As I'm kind of discovering . . . these things should probably be normal in walk with Christ. As well as ridiculous healings, crazy faith acts, and raising people from the dead.

You may think I'm joking, or that I'm going crazy. . . but I'm not. Jesus said that we would do "greater things than these". The book of Acts does not record anything greater than what Jesus did. What happened?

I don't know. Food for thought.

Dad, I love you. You are in control.

You are rocking my paradigms right now.

I am most definitely not comfortable

And yet I know that does not mean it's wrong, or not of You.

I see You in these things even though

I don't understand them.

Please pour Your Spirit out on me in full measure.

Let me know more of You.

Let me see You for who You really are.

I love You.

So be it.

Global Day of Prayer

So everything's kinda cancelled for today, since we're all going to participate in the city-wide gathering for the global day of prayer. 

So it should be interesting. . . the general feeling is that what's going on at the Lakeland revival in Florida may spread to KC today. It may all break loose.

Crazy. Cool.

Yeah.

I'm stoked. I'm ready for it. Bring it on.

Dad, let You kingdom be manifest here today.

Rend the heavens and come down today.

Let signs and wonders be done by Your servants

For the glory of Your name alone.

Thank You, even if You choose not to loose it today.

I Love You.

So be it.